Welcome to the place of overflowing grace in the midst of messy motherhood.
There are a lot of kids up in here, a lot of noise, and a lot of life. It's raw and real, and often sticky.
But I wouldn't trade it. (Except maybe the sticky part.)
Join me for the journey.  

I Am Not An Ostrich

I am surrounded by mothers here.  They may not be the best, or the wisest, or even the nicest.  I do not know them.  Most of them, I never will.  In one room nearby, a young mother held her baby today amidst the tangle of tubes hiding the little body connected to them.  Behind a door marked, “caution: chemotherapy”, I heard a child call out “Mommy!” and the quiet murmur of the parent’s reassuring answer.  Another sat tired in yesterday’s clothes as her son molded play dough beside her in the play room.   We’ve watched our children struggle under sedation.  We’ve held them, allowing painful work to be done.  We’ve turned our heads so our little ones will not see our tears.  Most mothering doe

Bring Me Low

I held my infant son last night in darkness, breathing in his baby smell, burying my worries in the folds of his squishy neck.  He should have been asleep, but then, he should have been in his crib.  At home. But we were far away.  The IV pump beeped.  A little boy in the bed next to me moaned.  It was my little boy; the IV pump was connected to him.  On the other side of the bed, another tube connected a dripping bag to his head.  I squeezed the warm baby closer and tried to process it all. Friday morning we went to physical therapy.  Ben was a bit cranky, but life’s not all peaches these days, after all.  Brain surgery was three weeks ago; more doctors and nurses and discomfort and attenti

Welcome To My Crib

It was time. Time for the baby to move out of our room into a crib in the boys’ room. Time for the almost three year old to give his crib to the baby. Time for the four year old to give up the toddler bed and move into a twin sized bed. Time for the five boys to squeeze into one room. It was time for bunk beds.  Round two. But I wasn’t ready. As a matter of fact, the baby learned to sleep through the night over a month ago (Haaaaalelujah!)  So it was time.  He needed to get out of our room.  We calculated that for Christmas we would invest in bunk beds. The grim-faced delivery men dropped off several imposing boxes a few days after the holiday.   It was New Year’s Day when Daddy and his help


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